As I read further into the book Shifting, I am learning about the implications of some of the stereotypes about black women. The one that stood out to me the most is that of either being unfeminine and therefore not a sexual being, or of being loose and ready for sex with anyone. These contradict each other so I can't imagine how difficult it must be to walk the line between them. In the book, women who have been viewed as unfeminine have seen it as either frustrating or working to their advantage depending on the situation. Those that don't mind the stereotype feel this way because it has enabled them to escape being treated inappropriately by men of another race. Conversely though, it causes many women to feel like an "it."
The other stereotype causes many women to experience sexual abuse or assault because white men especially think that it's ok to treat a black woman that way because "she wants it." Some of the stories in the book are shocking. I can hardly believe that a man would think it was ok to say some of those things to a woman. I especially found it interesting that many black girls are taught to stay away from white men because of this stereotype, causing some women to fear them all together. I hate to hear that this is the case because, as one woman pointed out, not all men ought to be feared, but experience has caused many women to avoid them.
This makes me wonder what it would be like to have been raised this way, or to have experienced a white man treat you this way, and then to come to a predominantly white institution in the South, knowing that you will be surrounded by white men on a regular basis. Knowing that you will have to work with them or collaborate with them for class projects. I think it takes courage, but it can also lead to a very difficult college experience. I think it would lead to feelings of insecurity or lack of safety. It would be hard to walk around campus and feel safe, or to trust that the people around you are good people. I always felt safe on campus during the day (not at night so much), but I'm going to guess that some of our black females do not because of this stereotype.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Understanding
I've been thinking about what it would be like to be an African American woman on Baylor's campus. I think it would be hard regardless of where you are because of the different stereotypes and expectations placed on you in every situation, but I think being at Baylor could have some positives and negatives. Obviously the racial climate on campus would be difficult. Despite the fact that our student population is 35% minority, there is a dominant white culture that is indifferent, or even sometimes hostile, towards minority students in general. This would be hard to navigate regardless of what racial group you were from, but especially if you don't come from a background where you are used to being around mostly white people.
I think a good thing that's happening at Baylor however is the new My Sister Myself initiative. This is a group that meets twice a month and it is specifically for black women to come together and have community and discuss the different issues they face. Knowing what I know now, I see the value this group provides. It would be important to be able to be in community with others without fear of offending or upholding/dismantling stereotypes. I did not understand the actual need for community until doing this project, but now I'm understanding some of our student organizations and different initiatives in a new way, and it makes me appreciate them even more.
I wish there was a way for the student body to learn more about what it's like to be a black woman, or even just a minority in general, but it seems that a lot of our students are disinterested. Working in Multicultural Affairs, we struggle to get white students to come to any of our events at all, simply because we have the word Multicultural in the name. My hope is that we can somehow start to combat that. I don't want white students on campus to feel like they don't belong at our events because we aren't for them. That's not true. I want to see and education across all cultures of what it means to be different from who are you. I think this understanding is important especially when it comes to the experience of being an African American female because they have to deal with both the caveat of being a woman, and that of being African American, making their experience unique.
I think a good thing that's happening at Baylor however is the new My Sister Myself initiative. This is a group that meets twice a month and it is specifically for black women to come together and have community and discuss the different issues they face. Knowing what I know now, I see the value this group provides. It would be important to be able to be in community with others without fear of offending or upholding/dismantling stereotypes. I did not understand the actual need for community until doing this project, but now I'm understanding some of our student organizations and different initiatives in a new way, and it makes me appreciate them even more.
I wish there was a way for the student body to learn more about what it's like to be a black woman, or even just a minority in general, but it seems that a lot of our students are disinterested. Working in Multicultural Affairs, we struggle to get white students to come to any of our events at all, simply because we have the word Multicultural in the name. My hope is that we can somehow start to combat that. I don't want white students on campus to feel like they don't belong at our events because we aren't for them. That's not true. I want to see and education across all cultures of what it means to be different from who are you. I think this understanding is important especially when it comes to the experience of being an African American female because they have to deal with both the caveat of being a woman, and that of being African American, making their experience unique.
Observation #6: Good Deeds
Kelley recommended that I watch one of a list of movies that portray African American women. The movies all have predominantly black casts, indicating that they were a more accurate portrayal of the African American woman's experience. I decided to watch Tyler Perry's Good Deeds. The two main women in the movie are from very different backgrounds. One exhibits the traits I have read and talked about in previous blogs: the need to shift into different personalities depending on where she is and who she is with. She also feels the need to show a strong face regardless of what's going on. She wants to be viewed by the stereotype that I've seen described in Shifting because if she isn't then she feels like she can't handle any of the hard situations that arise. The other main female character is in a relationship that she is expected to be in and is living a comfortable life, but she is unhappy. She doesn't really have anyone she can go to to talk about it though.
From what I can tell, this movie is breaking down stereotypes. These women are trying to exhibit a hard exterior, and at the beginning of the movie you think they might actually be like that, but as the movie progresses, it shows that regardless of the fact that their lives are vastly different, they each have real emotions and feelings that need supporting, just like any other woman.
I think that is one of the main disconnects that I've noticed. People assume that black women don't have to deal with or don't experience the same problems that all women experience. Why wouldn't they? And why wouldn't they have struggles? And why wouldn't they need help? I think if people would recognize that black women have struggles just like any other woman, then some of the stereotypes wouldn't stand up. What's more, it would help for people to realize that they also have different struggles. These are the struggles I've been talking about throughout this blog. It ultimately comes down to the fact that black women are not treated or believed to be human in the way that the rest of us are. That's a crazy realization, but that's what I'm starting to understand.
From what I can tell, this movie is breaking down stereotypes. These women are trying to exhibit a hard exterior, and at the beginning of the movie you think they might actually be like that, but as the movie progresses, it shows that regardless of the fact that their lives are vastly different, they each have real emotions and feelings that need supporting, just like any other woman.
I think that is one of the main disconnects that I've noticed. People assume that black women don't have to deal with or don't experience the same problems that all women experience. Why wouldn't they? And why wouldn't they have struggles? And why wouldn't they need help? I think if people would recognize that black women have struggles just like any other woman, then some of the stereotypes wouldn't stand up. What's more, it would help for people to realize that they also have different struggles. These are the struggles I've been talking about throughout this blog. It ultimately comes down to the fact that black women are not treated or believed to be human in the way that the rest of us are. That's a crazy realization, but that's what I'm starting to understand.
Observation #5: Shifting: The Double Lives of Black Women in America
In order to better understand what it means to live as a black woman, having to disprove stereotypes and act differently around different groups of people, I started reading Shifting: The Double Lives of Black Women in America, based on the African American Women's Voices Project. So far, this book has been extremely enlightening. It looks at the cases and perspectives of black women from all walks of life and examines some of their common experiences, as well as specifically lays out the different stereotypes and how they work to overcome them.
Ramona introduced me to this book and I regret not starting it earlier in the process of my project. It is based on a project that worked to make the voices of black women heard, which is another way of looking at my project, just on a much larger scale. The title, Shifting refers to the fact that many African American women feel the need to shift into different personalities or personas depending on the people around them or the situation they are in. Kelley talked to me about this when I met with her, and then I observed this when I went to church with her. Depending on the surroundings, African American women can only be a certain percentage of who they really are out of fear of offending or being perceived wrongly.
One new aspect that I had not encountered up to this point is the stereotype that African American women can handle anything that comes their way with strength and perseverance. This sounds like a compliment to me, but when I read more about it, it is a burden and can cause people to treat African American women more harshly because "they can take it." It would be hard to have people assuming that you can handle any situation without help. One woman explained that when a situation arose for her that she needed support on, she had no one to turn to. Even her closest friends did not understand why this was so hard for her to handle and would walk away when she showed emotion. This would be incredibly painful. It makes me wonder how African American women on a predominantly white campus are treated because of this assumption. Are they disregarded? Are their concerns ignored? Are they ignored? Do some of their white friends make ignorant comments around them because they think they can handle it? Are they expected to handle it, even if people know the situation is hurtful? I wonder if they feel they cannot express frustration or feelings of being alone in a predominantly white environment because they fear that no one will take them seriously or listen to their concerns.
Ramona introduced me to this book and I regret not starting it earlier in the process of my project. It is based on a project that worked to make the voices of black women heard, which is another way of looking at my project, just on a much larger scale. The title, Shifting refers to the fact that many African American women feel the need to shift into different personalities or personas depending on the people around them or the situation they are in. Kelley talked to me about this when I met with her, and then I observed this when I went to church with her. Depending on the surroundings, African American women can only be a certain percentage of who they really are out of fear of offending or being perceived wrongly.
One new aspect that I had not encountered up to this point is the stereotype that African American women can handle anything that comes their way with strength and perseverance. This sounds like a compliment to me, but when I read more about it, it is a burden and can cause people to treat African American women more harshly because "they can take it." It would be hard to have people assuming that you can handle any situation without help. One woman explained that when a situation arose for her that she needed support on, she had no one to turn to. Even her closest friends did not understand why this was so hard for her to handle and would walk away when she showed emotion. This would be incredibly painful. It makes me wonder how African American women on a predominantly white campus are treated because of this assumption. Are they disregarded? Are their concerns ignored? Are they ignored? Do some of their white friends make ignorant comments around them because they think they can handle it? Are they expected to handle it, even if people know the situation is hurtful? I wonder if they feel they cannot express frustration or feelings of being alone in a predominantly white environment because they fear that no one will take them seriously or listen to their concerns.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Observation #4: Reading Magazines
For my fourth observation, I decided to read some of the magazines that Ramona lent to me that are meant specifically for black women. Being an avid magazine reader myself, (I have 5 different magazine subscriptions!) I was interested to see the differences between a black woman's fashion magazine and the ones that I regularly read.
First, I noticed that there were more social activism pieces in the African American magazine that what I am used to reading. While my fashion magazines will highlight some successful women or focus on one social issue per issue, these magazines had several different stories, most about children and education, that dealt with different issues, such as foster care, gun violence, and handling discrimination. There were also historical pieces that dealt with the civil rights movement.
Second, the approach to beauty products was different in the African American magazines than in the magazines that I read. While both magazines offer information on the best products and what's hot that month as far as trends go, the tone of the black women's magazine was one of "look what we found" rather than "look what's new". What I mean by this is that there is clearly a scarcity of products available to black women in the first place, so the approach in the magazines for black women was more about making their readers aware of what was out there, rather than simply providing more options or showing readers the best new products.
Finally, I was surprised at the openness in the magazines for African American women when it came to dealing to societal stereotypes. While a few of my magazines will randomly address issues like the inaccurate portrayal of women in the media, the magazines for African American women dealt with what it meant to combat stereotypes on a regular basis through many different means. There were articles in the finance and job section about handling stereotypes in interviews. There were articles in the beauty section of hair stereotypes and how to approach salons about what you want. One of the magazines even addressed the constant battle with stereotypes in the Letter from the Editor, citing it as the common struggle among all black females.
Reading these magazines awakened me to the fact that the struggles I've been learning about through this process are not only being talked about in the academic world, but they are being addressed by the African American female community as a whole. I was glad to see that there are conversations happening about what it means to be a black female, but I am saddened to know that this is not something many people know about outside of that community. Just like many of my other experiences with this project, it helps me understand the deep need for community with others, especially when one is having to rally their efforts on a daily basis to cope with misperception and ignorance.
First, I noticed that there were more social activism pieces in the African American magazine that what I am used to reading. While my fashion magazines will highlight some successful women or focus on one social issue per issue, these magazines had several different stories, most about children and education, that dealt with different issues, such as foster care, gun violence, and handling discrimination. There were also historical pieces that dealt with the civil rights movement.
Second, the approach to beauty products was different in the African American magazines than in the magazines that I read. While both magazines offer information on the best products and what's hot that month as far as trends go, the tone of the black women's magazine was one of "look what we found" rather than "look what's new". What I mean by this is that there is clearly a scarcity of products available to black women in the first place, so the approach in the magazines for black women was more about making their readers aware of what was out there, rather than simply providing more options or showing readers the best new products.
Finally, I was surprised at the openness in the magazines for African American women when it came to dealing to societal stereotypes. While a few of my magazines will randomly address issues like the inaccurate portrayal of women in the media, the magazines for African American women dealt with what it meant to combat stereotypes on a regular basis through many different means. There were articles in the finance and job section about handling stereotypes in interviews. There were articles in the beauty section of hair stereotypes and how to approach salons about what you want. One of the magazines even addressed the constant battle with stereotypes in the Letter from the Editor, citing it as the common struggle among all black females.
Reading these magazines awakened me to the fact that the struggles I've been learning about through this process are not only being talked about in the academic world, but they are being addressed by the African American female community as a whole. I was glad to see that there are conversations happening about what it means to be a black female, but I am saddened to know that this is not something many people know about outside of that community. Just like many of my other experiences with this project, it helps me understand the deep need for community with others, especially when one is having to rally their efforts on a daily basis to cope with misperception and ignorance.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Information Seeking Experience - Interview with Kelley
Today I sat down with my supervisor, Kelley, to talk about her experience as an African American woman, both before she became a professional, and her experiences now on a predominantly white college campus. First, we talked about her childhood experiences because Kelley is a firm believer in the fact that where a person is from largely determines how they handle different experiences. We then talked about different struggles and issues she has encountered while on predominantly white college campuses, as well as issues some of her black female friends have faced in the corporate world. She then shared some stories with me that some of her students had recently experienced. Finally, she talked about the importance of appearance for African American females.
One of my major take-aways from our conversation was the fact that she first encountered racism in the third grade, and then had to deal with it both from whites and blacks throughout her childhood. Because she attended predominantly white schools as a child, she encountered white students who judged her based on her skin color, but because the majority of her extended family lived in a predominantly black neighborhood, she was called an Oreo or told that she "talked white" several times growing up. Kelley said that 5th or 6th grade, you learn that you need to be yourself regardless of what other people think of you. This was extremely interesting to me because that seems extremely young to come to that realization. I know I was at least in high school, if not college, before I realized the importance of owning who I was.
I was also interested by the different messages Kelley received as a child about success. She was told that no matter what, she was going to have to work harder than her white friends to succeed and that, because she did not have the same privileges as whites, she could not act the same as them (aka, be as relaxed or do whatever she wanted). Several times during the conversation, Kelley mentioned the fact that she can only be 75% of herself at work because she has to be careful not to offend people, while also working to protect herself from the different stereotypes people have about African American females. This is a description of what I saw when I went to church with her. I could tell that she was more relaxed, but I could also tell that the students I saw at church were also more relaxed. This constant vigilance must be exhausting. To me, it makes more sense for African American women to want to congregate with one another every once in a while in order to be able to be in community with others without having to have their guard up.
Related to this, Kelley also talked about how she learned early on that you have to swallow your pride in many circumstances, especially in the workplace and classroom setting, and be careful about your tone and how you say things when racist comments are made, overtly or covertly. Because of this, Kelley chooses her battles, and she often only chooses to fight those that are overt and a big deal. Many times, she just lets it go. From a black woman's perspective then, I wonder what it is like to have white friends who think you are good enough friends that its ok to make race-related jokes around you, when really it is upsetting to you.
Kelley also mentioned that people are often scared of African American men and women for different reasons. When it comes to women, it is the fear of the angry black woman, the stereotype that if you say or do anything wrong, they will come at you with ferocity. Kelley said fighting this stereotype is a constant battle for many African American females. This can explain the subdued personality of some of the students I have encountered. It may be easier to show no emotion than to risk showing the wrong one.
One of my major take-aways from our conversation was the fact that she first encountered racism in the third grade, and then had to deal with it both from whites and blacks throughout her childhood. Because she attended predominantly white schools as a child, she encountered white students who judged her based on her skin color, but because the majority of her extended family lived in a predominantly black neighborhood, she was called an Oreo or told that she "talked white" several times growing up. Kelley said that 5th or 6th grade, you learn that you need to be yourself regardless of what other people think of you. This was extremely interesting to me because that seems extremely young to come to that realization. I know I was at least in high school, if not college, before I realized the importance of owning who I was.
I was also interested by the different messages Kelley received as a child about success. She was told that no matter what, she was going to have to work harder than her white friends to succeed and that, because she did not have the same privileges as whites, she could not act the same as them (aka, be as relaxed or do whatever she wanted). Several times during the conversation, Kelley mentioned the fact that she can only be 75% of herself at work because she has to be careful not to offend people, while also working to protect herself from the different stereotypes people have about African American females. This is a description of what I saw when I went to church with her. I could tell that she was more relaxed, but I could also tell that the students I saw at church were also more relaxed. This constant vigilance must be exhausting. To me, it makes more sense for African American women to want to congregate with one another every once in a while in order to be able to be in community with others without having to have their guard up.
Related to this, Kelley also talked about how she learned early on that you have to swallow your pride in many circumstances, especially in the workplace and classroom setting, and be careful about your tone and how you say things when racist comments are made, overtly or covertly. Because of this, Kelley chooses her battles, and she often only chooses to fight those that are overt and a big deal. Many times, she just lets it go. From a black woman's perspective then, I wonder what it is like to have white friends who think you are good enough friends that its ok to make race-related jokes around you, when really it is upsetting to you.
Kelley also mentioned that people are often scared of African American men and women for different reasons. When it comes to women, it is the fear of the angry black woman, the stereotype that if you say or do anything wrong, they will come at you with ferocity. Kelley said fighting this stereotype is a constant battle for many African American females. This can explain the subdued personality of some of the students I have encountered. It may be easier to show no emotion than to risk showing the wrong one.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Participation Experience: Carver Park Baptist Church
This morning I attended church with my current supervisor, Kelley, at Carver Park Baptist Church here in Waco. Carver Park is a "black" church, meaning that the vast majority of the members are African American. Soon after arriving I noticed the disproportionate number of females to males in attendance. Their choir was over 75% female, they had several women leading worship in the front, and most of the active participants in the service, meaning ordinary members who were vocal or physically moved by different parts of the service, were female. I thought this was an interesting reflection of what I have been reading about the limited number of "available" or "datable" men in the African American community. I wonder if the noticeable leadership within the church by the female community somewhat perpetuates the negative stereotype of being independent and assertive that I mentioned yesterday.
The message during the service today was about finding focus on God during the frustrating times in life. The lesson focused on Psalm 73, which can be found here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+73&version=KJV, in the version that it was read during church. The sermon began with an emphasis on how frustrating life can be. I was immediately reminded of parts of the book I read yesterday that talked about the need to be able to realize that struggles are an everyday part of the life, and that it is imperative to learn how to continue to persevere and move forward despite these setbacks. This sermon was on point with this theme. The pastor mentioned several African-American-specific examples of how life can be frustrating for both men and women. When he was talking about females, he mentioned the fact that many women who work to do good and be the best version of themselves that they can be, are still patronized and treated like little sisters instead of being seen as the strong women that they are. I imagine this feeling of invisibility is common among black female college students. On our way home, Justin and I talked about the theme of the sermon and how we have never seen it manifest in that way in a church service before, let alone necessarily be a theme in the first place. The idea of having to push through frustrations and unfairness in life is prevalent in the life of African Americans even today, and is largely unknown in that form to white Americans.
A final observation I had was when I ran into a couple of students that I have had interactions with during my apprenticeship. One of the girls I ran into gave me a hug and was genuinely happy to see me at her church. I thought this was extremely interesting because up to this point, I have always seen her as being extremely reserved and almost bitter, like she's always had her guard up when I've interacted with her on campus. Seeing her in a setting where she felt at home and part of the majority, she was relaxed and much more open to being expressive and happy. I was glad to see her feeling comfortable, but I was also saddened to realize that she obviously does not feel that way at school. I am interested to see if her interactions with me change after having seen her at church, or if they will revert back to her normal interactions while we are in a predominantly white environment. Either way, she has an obvious need to protect herself when she is at Baylor, and that is disconcerting.
From this experience I have learned the importance of church-going and spirituality in the black community. There is a clear reliance on God and the church body to help each member in times of trouble. I wonder how African American students feel at Baylor, a faith-based institution. Do they see this as a less-welcoming Christian community, or do they even experience it as a community in that sense at all? I also learned that sometimes African American women feel the need to harden themselves against white society in order to persevere and be prepared for hardships. I wonder how many of the students I work with feel the need to keep their guard up at Baylor, and I don't realize that they are not fully being themselves around me. Mainly however, I learned that there is a lot about this subculture that I do not understand or cannot see.
The message during the service today was about finding focus on God during the frustrating times in life. The lesson focused on Psalm 73, which can be found here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+73&version=KJV, in the version that it was read during church. The sermon began with an emphasis on how frustrating life can be. I was immediately reminded of parts of the book I read yesterday that talked about the need to be able to realize that struggles are an everyday part of the life, and that it is imperative to learn how to continue to persevere and move forward despite these setbacks. This sermon was on point with this theme. The pastor mentioned several African-American-specific examples of how life can be frustrating for both men and women. When he was talking about females, he mentioned the fact that many women who work to do good and be the best version of themselves that they can be, are still patronized and treated like little sisters instead of being seen as the strong women that they are. I imagine this feeling of invisibility is common among black female college students. On our way home, Justin and I talked about the theme of the sermon and how we have never seen it manifest in that way in a church service before, let alone necessarily be a theme in the first place. The idea of having to push through frustrations and unfairness in life is prevalent in the life of African Americans even today, and is largely unknown in that form to white Americans.
A final observation I had was when I ran into a couple of students that I have had interactions with during my apprenticeship. One of the girls I ran into gave me a hug and was genuinely happy to see me at her church. I thought this was extremely interesting because up to this point, I have always seen her as being extremely reserved and almost bitter, like she's always had her guard up when I've interacted with her on campus. Seeing her in a setting where she felt at home and part of the majority, she was relaxed and much more open to being expressive and happy. I was glad to see her feeling comfortable, but I was also saddened to realize that she obviously does not feel that way at school. I am interested to see if her interactions with me change after having seen her at church, or if they will revert back to her normal interactions while we are in a predominantly white environment. Either way, she has an obvious need to protect herself when she is at Baylor, and that is disconcerting.
From this experience I have learned the importance of church-going and spirituality in the black community. There is a clear reliance on God and the church body to help each member in times of trouble. I wonder how African American students feel at Baylor, a faith-based institution. Do they see this as a less-welcoming Christian community, or do they even experience it as a community in that sense at all? I also learned that sometimes African American women feel the need to harden themselves against white society in order to persevere and be prepared for hardships. I wonder how many of the students I work with feel the need to keep their guard up at Baylor, and I don't realize that they are not fully being themselves around me. Mainly however, I learned that there is a lot about this subculture that I do not understand or cannot see.
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