This morning I attended church with my current supervisor, Kelley, at Carver Park Baptist Church here in Waco. Carver Park is a "black" church, meaning that the vast majority of the members are African American. Soon after arriving I noticed the disproportionate number of females to males in attendance. Their choir was over 75% female, they had several women leading worship in the front, and most of the active participants in the service, meaning ordinary members who were vocal or physically moved by different parts of the service, were female. I thought this was an interesting reflection of what I have been reading about the limited number of "available" or "datable" men in the African American community. I wonder if the noticeable leadership within the church by the female community somewhat perpetuates the negative stereotype of being independent and assertive that I mentioned yesterday.
The message during the service today was about finding focus on God during the frustrating times in life. The lesson focused on Psalm 73, which can be found here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+73&version=KJV, in the version that it was read during church. The sermon began with an emphasis on how frustrating life can be. I was immediately reminded of parts of the book I read yesterday that talked about the need to be able to realize that struggles are an everyday part of the life, and that it is imperative to learn how to continue to persevere and move forward despite these setbacks. This sermon was on point with this theme. The pastor mentioned several African-American-specific examples of how life can be frustrating for both men and women. When he was talking about females, he mentioned the fact that many women who work to do good and be the best version of themselves that they can be, are still patronized and treated like little sisters instead of being seen as the strong women that they are. I imagine this feeling of invisibility is common among black female college students. On our way home, Justin and I talked about the theme of the sermon and how we have never seen it manifest in that way in a church service before, let alone necessarily be a theme in the first place. The idea of having to push through frustrations and unfairness in life is prevalent in the life of African Americans even today, and is largely unknown in that form to white Americans.
A final observation I had was when I ran into a couple of students that I have had interactions with during my apprenticeship. One of the girls I ran into gave me a hug and was genuinely happy to see me at her church. I thought this was extremely interesting because up to this point, I have always seen her as being extremely reserved and almost bitter, like she's always had her guard up when I've interacted with her on campus. Seeing her in a setting where she felt at home and part of the majority, she was relaxed and much more open to being expressive and happy. I was glad to see her feeling comfortable, but I was also saddened to realize that she obviously does not feel that way at school. I am interested to see if her interactions with me change after having seen her at church, or if they will revert back to her normal interactions while we are in a predominantly white environment. Either way, she has an obvious need to protect herself when she is at Baylor, and that is disconcerting.
From this experience I have learned the importance of church-going and spirituality in the black community. There is a clear reliance on God and the church body to help each member in times of trouble. I wonder how African American students feel at Baylor, a faith-based institution. Do they see this as a less-welcoming Christian community, or do they even experience it as a community in that sense at all? I also learned that sometimes African American women feel the need to harden themselves against white society in order to persevere and be prepared for hardships. I wonder how many of the students I work with feel the need to keep their guard up at Baylor, and I don't realize that they are not fully being themselves around me. Mainly however, I learned that there is a lot about this subculture that I do not understand or cannot see.
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